Love Zone 5 simple ways to improve your relationship

Often, it's the small steps, taken every day, that can make a big, positive difference in cultivating your connection.

All relationships — even the best ones — require continuous care and hard work. But that doesn't necessarily mean taking big actions or making dramatic changes.

Little changes also can be tremendously helpful. That's because simple, everyday positive behaviours add up.

Here are five simple ways you can instantly improve your relationship.

1. Focus on what you love about your partner: After spending years together and dealing with day-to-day stress, couples can forget to focus on the positive. Relationships can easily become a litany of "you didn't do this" or "stop doing that." Instead, remind yourself what it was that made you fall in love with your spouse. Focus on the qualities you appreciate. And don't forget to share those thoughts with your spouse.
2. Touch your partner: When you have physical contact, it is harder to remain closed off, angry and disconnected. Just touching your partner or giving them a hug can go a long way in connecting you as a couple. 
3. Listen to your partner: Take the time to listen to what's important to your partner. If your spouse has something to say to you about their feelings, needs, reaction or wants, it behooves you to truly listen rather than respond with either your own opinion or defensiveness to what they said. That's because once you put down your defenses and stop rehearsing your own responses in your head, you'll be able to gain a clearer and deeper understanding of your partner, and your relationship.
4. Find the humour in a situation: Humour heals. It provides us with perspective. Laughter also releases a lot of stress, allowing more positive feelings to ensue. Try to find the light side of a situation, and laugh together.
5. Get intimate: When you connect in a way that is sacred to your relationship alone, you can't help but feel more intimate and connected. Plus, the release of feel-good chemicals also enhances your love and attachment. Relationships require regular maintenance, and the above tips can help you build a healthy, meaningful bond. Often, it's the small steps, taken every day, that can make a big, positive difference in cultivating your connection.

Relationship Tips How to know you're ready to start dating again

Are you trying to get back into the dating game but you're not quite sure whether you're ready or not, here are some signs that it's a healthy time to start looking, as well as some red flags that suggest you're not quite there.

Handling post-breakup emotions is not an easy feat, and some people would suggest that to get over someone, you should get under someone new.

That piece of advice may not be entirely true because different people have different ways they process their emotion after such a low moment in their life.

Therefore, there are no definite rules and regulations to follow when deciding whether to move on with someone new after a breakup or to wait a little longer.

Are you trying to get back into the dating game but you're not quite sure whether you're ready or not, here are some signs that it's a healthy time to start looking, as well as some red flags that suggest you're not quite there:

• Red Flag: You're still monitoring his social media behaviour "Keeping tabs on what your ex is doing is not only infringing on your recovery process, it shows that you’re not ready to commit to someone new," says Tracey Steinberg, a New York City-based dating expert and author of Flirt For Fun & Meet The One. If you feel the need to snoop, your best bet is to cut those social ties, she explains.
  
  
• Good Sign: You're rediscovering who you are Once you begin to feel content doing things alone versus always needing your partner around to feel whole, that's when you know you can let someone new into your life, says Steinberg. In fact, research published in the journal Personal Relationships suggests that rediscovering a clear sense of self post-breakup is the key to moving on.
  
  
• Red Flag: You're comparing a potential new partner to your ex It's common to have "selective amnesia" when it comes to previous relationships: If you're really missing your ex, it's only natural to think about all the sweet things he did for you or to solely focus on the good times, says Steinberg. Yet this becomes problematic when perusing a new love interest, because their efforts will always come up short if compared to your ex. "If you find yourself constantly drawing parallels between the two, you still haven't found closure on the breakup," says Steinberg.
  
  
• Good Sign: You're no longer hyper-focused on the ex In the early stages of a breakup, people often bring up their ex in conversation on a daily basis—even if it's subconscious, says Steinberg. When you reach the point where your ex is no longer impacting your day-to-day actions—like which friends you interact with, what places you go out to eat, what bars you may run into them at—you're in the clear, says Steinberg.
  
  
• Red Flag: You still have his stuff in your apartment Still holding out on deleting those couples photos from your handset? Can't quite fall asleep without his sweater in your bed? "While those behaviours are justifiable, that's a major indicator that you're still mourning the breakup," says Steinberg. Your move: Give yourself a few weeks post-split to figure out what to do with the item, then get rid of it. Out of sight, out of mind—it will be much easier to move on once you're not surrounded by your past, says Steinberg.

Love and Dating 10 reasons why being single is not a bad thing

Before you fling yourself on the floor and start weeping about your singlehood, pause briefly and read this. Regardless of what you might think, being single is not a bad thing at all.

Valentine's Day 2015 is just a few weeks away and while some lovers are already warming up for some romantic dates and treats, a couple of people are not really looking forward to that day.

Why? Because they are single! *Shudders*

Before you fling yourself on the floor and start weeping about your singlehood, pause briefly and read this. Regardless of what you might think, being single is not a bad thing at all. *Dodges shoe*

Don't think so? Check out the following reasons and see why you should celebrate being single:

1. No compromising: As a single person, you can do whatever it is that you love, without having to compromise for someone else's needs or desires. Maybe you like fried chicken or you like to eat cookies at night in front of the TV. You can indulge in your guilty pleasures or just simply be yourself without having to give up any part of your pleasure in order to codify someone else.
   
   
2. No explaining or justifying: Aside from not having to give up your pleasures, you also do not have to explain or justify to anyone why you like doing them. This is absolutely liberating. Be yourself, no ifs or buts about it.
   
   
3. No guilt: Guilt is one thing that we can definitely do without. But, so much of our relationships revolve around guilt. The compromising and explaining mentioned above are often things we do to protect our relationship from it's demise. We fear the loss. Instead of embracing impermanence and remembering what joys singlehood can bring, we often feel bad and guilty about our "selfish" ways. This leads to self-compromising behaviours.
   
   
4. No jealousy or insecurity: Jealousy is one of the things that comes with a relationship package. It can come from you or your partner. When you celebrate your singlehood, jealousy and insecurity about other people fall down by the wayside. The most important person has become you. The ability to live and let live suddenly becomes within your reach. Bye bye jealousy!
   
   
5. Friends: Not only do partners want explanations and compromise, but they also may be jealous of your friends. Maybe, partners may limit the time you have to spend with friends. In many ways friends are more important than our partners. They are there for us when our relationships hit the rocks. Being single is a great time to nurture your friendships. So, feel free to hang out with your friends and feel not guilt about it.
   
   
6. Develop your identity: Most time, people lose themselves in other people, in their partner or in their relationship, till their personality and identity is all gone. Who are you? What is special about you? Singlehood is when you can really let yourself shine and be who you are meant to be.
   
   
7. Have "me time": One of the best parts of singlehood is the freedom to do what you want, when you want, how you want, why you want and with whom. There is no one to answer to, explain, justify and compromise for. This independence should be embraced. You want a quiet evening at home or an entire week of solitude. It is all yours. Period! 
   
   
8. Pursue your dreams: Singlehood affords you the ability to pursue your dreams. Want to travel the world and visit fun places? Guess what? Being single makes these types of dreams much easier. Single people can do the things that those in relationships cannot. Chart uncharted territory, be a trail blazer or do something that you have never done before. It might be easier to do these things without seeking anyone's permission.
   
   
9. Financial independence: Your money is all yours. You don't have to pay for anyone else. You make your own money. So, spend your money the way you want. No joint bank accounts, no one telling you how to spend your money and no one asking you where your money went.
   
   
10. Emotional independence: This is probably the most liberating piece of all. Partners are not always supportive of our emotions. They take your emotions personally, they don't understand them or they don't support what you are feeling. Singles don't have to explain why they feel happy, sad, angry, tired, moody, crabby or frustrated to anyone. Feel free to feel every emotion you have inside of you and not have to respond to anyone else about them.

Yes, some of these things sound downright selfis, but ironically, these seemingly selfish concepts might actually benefit our relationships. We might end up feeling better about ourselves in the long run, which in the end is key for long term happiness.

Relationship Tips 7 sure signs that you are in love

When you're in love, there isn't going to be a flashing neon sign over your head, you know. All you need is to watch out for the little things you do or think about every day and know that these are the signs that you're in love.

If you've been walking around grinning like a besotted fool and generally being happy with life and everyone around you, then maybe you'd like to stop for a second and wonder if these are signs that you're in love?

When you're in love, there isn't going to be a flashing neon sign over your head, you know. Cupid won't descend on a fluffy cloud and poke you with a heart shaped arrow.

All you need is to watch out for the little things you do or think about every day and know that these are the signs that you're in love. So read on and maybe today will be the day you know!

1. YOU CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM: It's really very simple. One of the first definitive signs that you're in love is that you’re always thinking about him. As you sip your morning coffee, when you’re on your way to class or work and even when you’re in the middle of cooking dinner, you’ll be thinking about him. You’ll find yourself in the middle of the day, smiling away because you thought of something he said to you or that cute smile he gives you when you meet him. Thinking about him makes you happy and if that’s not love, then what is?
   
   
2. YOU WANT TO SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WITH HIM: If you’re in love, the most natural thing in the world is to want to spend all your time with him. Just thinking about him isn’t enough right? You go through the day wishing you were together. And when you’re with him, you don’t want him to leave. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend with him, it’s never enough. Definite sign of love, yes?
   
   
3. YOU KEEP WAITING FOR HIM TO CALL: If you thought sitting by the phone, waiting for a boy to call was something only teenaged girls did, think again! If you’re constantly checking your phone to see if he’s called or texted you or tweeted about you, you’re probably in love! It’s perfectly normal really, because all you want to do throughout the day is talk to him. Right? Whenever the phone rings, your heart starts beating faster because you hope it’s him calling. And there is this acute sense of disappointment when it’s not him. So smile and maybe call him? He’s probably waiting by the phone too you know!
   
   
4. YOU CAN’T STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM: Do you find yourself talking about him whenever you’re with friends or when catching up with your mom or sister? Have your friends told you that all you ever do is talk about him? If yes, then you’re probably in love. So much in love that he’s part of everything you think about and everything you say. You want everyone to know how happy he makes you and how awesome he is and so even though you might not realize it, you can’t stop talking about him.
   
   
5. YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE HIM HAPPY: It’s a definite sign that you’re in love if all that matters to you is making him happy. Even if that means you have to spend hours watching football with him or eat at his favourite restaurant even though you don’t like the food! All you want is to see him smile and knowing that you did something that has made him happy is enough for you!
   
   
6. YOU’RE HAPPY WITH LIFE: The flowers look prettier and the sky bluer, music is more melodious and food is yummier! If you’re suddenly finding life to be worth living and everything around you just perfect, it might be a sign that you’re in love. Your rose tinted glasses are on and you just feel happy about everything and everyone around you. Life is good and you’re super excited about waking up every day and living it!
   
   
7. YOU START PLANNING A LIFE WITH HIM: Have your daydreams changed? Do you dream less about going on a date with Ramsey Nuoah and more about living with him? You’re in love when you start thinking about a future with him. You start planning for a life together and can’t help think how many children you’ll have and where you’ll live!

Toke Makinwa Media personality asks - Is your friend high maintenance?

Toke Makinwa also shares four tips on how to identify if you are in a high maintenance friendship and how handle things when you find yourself in such a dicey situation.

In this week's edition of Toke Makinwa's vlog, the media personality talks about high maintenance friendship.

Makinwa also shares four tips on how to identify if you are in a high maintenance friendship and how handle things when you find yourself in such a dicey situation.

With new touch-ups and addition to the weekly video, this new episode of Toke Moments promises to be as interesting as always. Enjoy!